i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
