Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
