Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
