I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
