We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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