discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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