I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
