That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
