About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
