she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
