Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
