Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I wish I only lived at night.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
