I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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