That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
