so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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