Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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