I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
