everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
