it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
