not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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