New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
