There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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