You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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