i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
