I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
this boner is exhausting
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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