Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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