Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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