I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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