At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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