i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
