Three words: puerto rican gang bang
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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