oh god the rape fog is back!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
