If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
