You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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