I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
not ubering you a puppy
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