Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
