Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I didn't notice because vodka
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
