apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
