It's like God shit irony all over that family
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
