it was like his penis was on wheels.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So gin and wine won't be happening again
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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