I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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