So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
