I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head