The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??