So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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