Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He better not be in your backpack
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
