He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
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