why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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