He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
