I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
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It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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