Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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