Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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