I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
