I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
