its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
