So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
