Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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