I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You dont lie about slip and slides
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
