check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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