i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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