You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
