did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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