Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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