apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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