in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize