my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
