Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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