Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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