I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
