i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
